Reality versus perception

Posted: May 18, 2012 in Survival Strategy
Tags: , , , , , ,
A pregnant woman

A pregnant woman (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My mother’s pregnancy was fluffy– “I didn’t get sick once,” she has been known to say. As I’ve followed after her in many respects, I anticipated staying well for a solid nine months. Seriously. On the day the doctor called us with the news, I was ecstatic. The joy I felt at learning I was to give birth lasted about a week, which is about how long it took me to start feeling sick.

I remember throwing up near my car around week four and wondering why I was so nauseas. Co-workers looked at me with knowing eyes, and comforted me by saying things like “Yes, it’s rough. Your creating a whole living being. You should be drinking ginger ale. Let me get you some crackers.” As helpful as they were– and I’m blessed to have very supportive and kind co-workers– their thoughtfulness didn’t stop the disappointment from creeping into my heart. I thought pregnancy was supposed to be fun. I knew that women suffered from occasional morning sickness and sleepiness, but I didn’t know it was so debilitating. Where was the glow, the happiness, the fun?

I think most women who experience hg have similar experiences. What they planned as being a tremendously joyous time is turned inside out. Morning sickness becomes omnipresent sickness. Bed rest becomes, “I can’t even think of getting out of bed rest.” That pregnancy glow becomes the pale face of nausea.

Sometimes your experience doesn’t live up to your expectations, and then it can be difficult to keep a positive outlook. For those of us with hg, it’s darn near impossible! Yet there is a way to survive: focus on the present. Instead of clinging to what might have been, hold on to what is– yes, you’re sick and it’s worse than any other illness you’ve experienced. But you are also pregnant, and this pregnancy will result in the creation of a wonderful little being.

This pregnancy may not be fun, and it certainly may not be what you expected, but it will result in what you had hoped for: a child. Hold onto that as tightly as you can, my friend.

P.S. What did you expect pregnancy would be like? Let me know I’m not alone by posting a comment below.

  1. I totally feel with you! I am 8 months and 3 weeks pregnant and the first 3 months were exactly like you described. Nausea and morning sickness all day long; I was fortunate enough to be able to take off work and rest but nothing ever seemed to really help and I lost 6 kg/ 11 pounds. Once the 3 months were over however, the glow and energy came back with occasional nausea and headaches.
    Hang in there, it’s all worth it 🙂

    • hgsurvivor says:

      I’m so glad that the glow and energy returned for you! I was sick with hg for all nine months, but the morning after I gave birth I was able to eat food again- it was wonderful! My husband told me that I was glowing, so at least I had some glow associated with pregnancy!! Thanks for posting!

  2. Tamarhgmama says:

    Since this was my 3rd baby, but first HG pregnancy….I thought I knew what I was getting into. Yes I was sick with my first two in the beginning. My first I didn’t eat much and gained nothing in my first trimester. By 14 weeks though it was over and I none the worse for wear. My second was a little rougher. I suffered from debilitating what we thought was vertigo. So dizzy I couldn’t stand, eat, care for my child. But again by week 19/20 I was on the road to happy healthy preggo. This time around it was horrible. By week 9 I was already down 5 lbs, by week 16 I was down 18 and getting my first PICC….I knew something was wrong immediately. This was NOT morning sickness. I spent majority of my pregnancy mourning what was supposed to be joyous. This was our last baby, my kids were old enough to experience the excitement. Instead we lived a nightmare for 9 months. The guilt I feel and the mourning of What should have been are things I am working on. HG takes what should be exciting (though not necessarily hearts and unicorns) and makes it a uphill battle.

  3. What a wondeful blog and resource. I don’t know why I just found your comment in my blog now, but I’m glad I did. This blog seems like it will be a wonderful service to women going through HG.

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