Posts Tagged ‘strength’

It’s true: life is very unfair. At times it’s wonderful, at times it’s awful. And since I’ve been diagnosed with kidney stones it’s been painful. After five lithotripsies, I believe my doctor has finally blasted the stone away. The past week has been fraught with nausea, constipation, and pain. I haven’t been able to properly take care of my son. He’s reached out to me with his tiny two-year-old arms and buddha belly and said “Mom, down!” (his way to getting me off the bed and onto the floor to play cars). I’ve had to decline.

This situation is temporary, and in comparison to a pregnant woman suffering with Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG), it’s truly nothing. Yet the anxiety and fear I’ve spiraled into has enveloped me like a tornado. In the middle of the tornado are two sides to my psyche battling for control: Logic, with its reticent personality tells me that I can do anything. Of course I can survive another HG pregnancy. It was terrible and will be terrible again. But suffering through a full nine months of illness is certainly do-able, especially given the joy of bringing another life into the world. Heart, with its power to overwhelm my being, cowers in the corner confessing all fears binding its fragile grasp on normalcy. Heart whispers that I will become a bad parent, ruin the bond I have with my son, push my husband past the point of exhaustion caring for us both, and  suffer even worse than I did when expecting my son.

Heart spurs me to spend hours after my bedtime frantically skimming journal articles, asking questions on Facebook groups, and chasing down every random medication that might lessen or prevent this extreme morning sickness from happening again. Logic reminds me that I am in good hands- that I have a wonderful doctor, a supportive husband, and a caring God. Logic tells me that, even if I will suffer, I will survive.

Right now, I am scared. And there is so much to fear. But I am trying to hope, to not give up, to continue pressing on. And so I’ll continue drawing up battle plans. For me, there is no alternative.

Please, tell me how you came to grips with pursuing another child despite the likelihood that you would get HG again?



Uprising fist

Uprising fist (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

If you’ve got HG, you’re fighting not only for yourself but for your unborn child. It’s a grueling, debilitating, daily struggle.

Your inspiration for today? Nick Vujicic

This guy is a motivational speaker who makes an impact on those around him. Why is he so inspiring? He was born with another rare disease–Tetra-amelia disorder. Because of this disease, he doesn’t have any arms or legs. Yet this guy travels the world teaching others that they can overcome their toughest challenges.

I know that it’s hard right now. I know that you’re dehydrated, constipated, and miserable. So take a deep breath and listen to the words of someone who has a permanent condition and can still find the will to survive.

P.S Who inspires you? What gives you hope? Help other hg warriors by sharing what keeps you going in a comment below.